Sunday, May 15, 2011

Let's make things clear.

 I’m tired of being sorry. u guys, please get a life? I made a choice to finally let go everything, because I can't stand the pain anymore. why did I break up with him? hurm. well ,it's like, once I sat down and looked at the situation, all the pieces lying on the floor, it just wasn't a puzzle anymore. none of the pieces fit together. and even if I tried really hard, i mean, we tried but they were still two different puzzles. frustrated because I can't tell if it's real. upset because we can't make it right. aggravated because u don't understand. disappointed because we can't be together. that's why I did it, This is not my decision,its YOURS. I love you too much and i'm sorry for that,i can't help myself. All of my instincts was true. The mcd girl i've met and all her story was FUCKING TRUE. Now,i'm telling myself that ME and YOU were not meant to be together. I accept that as my FATE. stalkers, u guys really needs to understand that.

maybe they are right. maybe I did get my hopes up too high. maybe I was in over my head. maybe I am the stupid one for ever thinking that u loved me, but maybe, just maybe, I am tired of being alone. I know I'm not completely over him. he still crosses my mind several times a day, but with each one of those times, a feeling of contempt also passes through my heart. maybe if this happens enough, my heart will become completely hardened to him, and I'll get to the point where he doesn't affect me anymore. right?

I didn't ask for it to be over, but then again, I didn't ask for it to begin. for that's the way it is with life, as some of the most beautiful days come completely by chance.

am I mad at u? that's ur main concern after shattering my whole world? mad for what? breaking my heart? or for all the lies? maybe for letting me put all my trust in u only to be betrayed? how about the fact u didn't even have the decency to tell me to my face? or the way u think it's crazy that I'm crying over it cause to u breaking up is no big deal. am I mad at u? seriously, NO! more like crushed. did I ever really know u?

the only hope I have is to accept the fact that u're already gone.

guys, of course, u're going to get ur heart broken. and it isn't just going to happen once, but a lot. that's just part of growing up, and it makes u stronger. then u can handle it better next time. u may not get through it urself, but ur friends will help u through it. they will always help u especially your family. u guys have been everything and mean everything to me. yet, don’t forget to pray to God.. and u'll be a stronger person because of it. then one day someone will come along, and it'll all pay off and no one will ever break ur heart again. 
I promise u. no worries. okay? 

Love,Sarah Eldora

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